Can’t live with him, but I REALLY can’t live without him.
This morning my 14 year old little brother moved out of my house.
Nobody believes this, because he’s well over six feet tall and is built like a pro football player, but this past year he has been very bullied in his school. By students, by teachers, by everyone. Sure, he’s tough. He acts like a badass and like nothing bothers him. He can try not to give a fuck. But I know better than to fall for that because I’ve seen how it all has changed him this year.
My brother and I have always been close. We enjoy hanging out with each other and always make each other laugh. But throughout the year he has become so different. He’s a lot meaner. He has started treating me shitty, started bullying me about things. He comes home pissed at the world. He comes home raging. He’s come home to tell us how he has no friends, how he hates his life, how he’s wanted to blow his brains out.
That breaks my heart.
I know that feeling, its the worst feeling in the freaking world and i refuse to let him go through it. This kid has broken my heart a thousand times since he’s been born. He’s gone through so much shit. And he’s never deserved any of it, and i just want it all to be better for him than it has been for me.
I guess a few days ago he got into a fight with some punk. The other kid threw the first punch, and then my brother kicked his ass. Anyway, there was a video of it. I guess the other guy showed it to the school and the constables to try to get him arrested, but they ended up just calling my mom and telling her that he is not safe at school anymore and is advised not to return.
Of course there were only two days of school left for him, but many people who don’t like him know where we live. So he moved out this morning and is going to live with my uncle for a while. He’s been threatened hundreds of times at school, he gets ganged up on all of the time. And people, some of my own friends, have the nerve to tell me that he deserves it because he is mean, because of the way he talks to people. I in no way condone to his actions or behavior towards others, but I know why he is the way he is. Nobody knows him like I do, none of the punks who pick on him understand. When you’ve been pushed around your entire life, been told you are unwanted and worthless by everybody including your family, when you have felt unloved for your entire life you have a reason behind all the hating people. The moment you tell me that that boy isn’t being bullied, that he deserves to hate his life, is the moment you are dead to me.
I agree. He is mean. He is the main person who I have conflicts with. He makes me feel like nothing sometimes. And man, do I get angry at him. But NOBODY deserves to feel like they are better off dead. And the people giving him shit know NOTHING about him. He’s always been the ONLY reason I would not leave for college, I’ve always tried to protect him. That kid appears to be big and strong, but he is ONLY 14. I hear him cry at night. I’ve listened to him cry at night for the past 7 years. If he ever knew I were posting this, he’d hate me. But I love him, so…
I got on here to tell you how pissed I am. That, now instead of moving mid-summer, my family is moving asap and that I won’t get a last summer with my friends before college. I was going to say something super selfish like how my family is ruining everything and how much my brother complicates things. But he can’t really help this. This place is shit anyways and there’s nothing left for me, or my family, here. I’ve been objecting this moving thing, at least until I move to Austin. But I’ve been so freaking selfish. I had a good high school career, I’ve had a lot of fun here. But that doesn’t mean my brother can find the same happiness in the same place. He doesn’t deserve to be miserable for the next three years, he deserves to have fun. Sure, there is that tiny desire in me where when I come home from school, I’m coming home to the place I already know as home. But this was never truly a home and there are more important things to worry about. Like my brother, who has literally been ran out of his own home. I hate that he goes through this.
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